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| Hello xanga. I'm back from the brink of insanity with sweat on my brow and a girl at my arm.
Over the time, I've picked up a few bad habits and a few good ones along with that.
This is gonna sound pretty cliche' but I met this girl on chat roullete some 2 months back.
Her name's Angela, she's my mittens, my mermaid, my future and my eternity.
I'm flying down to PA next month to see her, and I couldn't be more excited. What else is new? I started working at this place called Continental Alloys and Services. The pay isn't great, but
I'm working an AWESOME schedule. I only work fridays, saturdays and sundays, and that scores
me 39 hours. Basically, the goal is to cut pipes to whatever length the customer wants, stencil (paint)
them with the correct information and turn in the paperwork. Its the easiest job I've ever had. The
best part is, i actually look forward to going to work. Paycheck every Friday, too. Anyway, I guess thats all I really have to say for now. Toodles. :)
@technoflunky, I miss you.
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| I came back to my parent's house Tuesday Night. I'm not due back to work until Monday, so I'll likely just stay here until then. I've been getting pretty frustrated with the family computer so I trashed the whole music folder, its full of viruses anyway. I guess it was just out of curiousity, but I keeped into the recycle bin and there were three photos.
I felt like I had finally started progressing past her and it wouldn't hurt so much.
Thinking back on it though.. I can't remember the last time I've ever been truely happy since I became single. I've lost count of the years now too. But we did kiss just last valentine's day. I didn't even expect it. She just popped up on those tip toes and caught me off guard.
I'm hurting so bad right now. I'll never smile like I did in that photo again. The muscles in my face have forgotten how.
Its time to drown it all in southern comfort.
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Active Duty, USN. 2008 | | |
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| "Life On Quota"
Been a while mr.xanga.
I've been needing to spill my emotions. This seems the proper canvas.
I moved out. I love it. I hate it.
I have friends that would cut their limbs off for me. My grandmother has cancer again. I don't even know how to talk to her. I'm working 14 hours a day. There's a girl I love that has a bf and she'll never know how I feel because she's too busy letting her bf neglect her. There's nebula, she's a crazy maniacal sociapathocal time bomb. Jennifers the best. I'd give her my last cigarette, I need to be at work in 7 hours. I wanna be a rockstar but I could only afford this lameo squire strat. Everything I do, I give it every last drop. At work, I push myself to my very limits, I make sure that I'm working harder than anyone so that I know i've done my part. My heart hurts. I'm dying inside. I hve goals. Dreams. I have a fling. She's getting attached so that needs to stop. I've been sleeping around. I'm a good person. I hate who I am. I need to quit smoking. I'm an alcoholic. It's the only way I know of coping with all the pressure put on me. I'm losing my sanity. I love this apartment. Lately I've been eating only once every few days. My eyes burn, my ears ring. I think I may have snapped my wrist. I got my first tattoo. A green star with a thick black border. I'm writing a song that I'll never finish. I need a true love. She'll be smart. Beautiful. She hates the way she looks. Outgoing. Fun. Flirty. Unpredictable. Slim. Short. Gorgeous. Great smile. Kinky. Loving. Nurturing. I hate my job. Its a great place to keep fit. I hate that no one gives their all. I miss my cousin. I miss my xanga friend with the picture she took sitting down outside her apartment. She's beautiful if I never told her that. I told dominique that I wish I was a girl so that I could love her without her turning straight. Technoflunky is fucking amazing. I just want to make sure I reminded her of that. | | |
| I just have these feelings I feel, not of love, that I can't share with you." <- Well quite frankly my dear, I've grown sick and tired of these semantics. You use direct messages in hopes of anonymity, and don't worry, I WILL still give you that, but please do refrain from placing my mind in these obstacle courses. My emotions aren't quite as solid as they once were. I've posted this because I actually seek guidance. I've always put my integrity as my trophy characteristic. Readers, if you had feelings for someone that can't promise they're eternal return, would you still give love a chance? Even if it means, it could end so suddenly, so abruptly that you wouldn't even have a chance to say goodbye? | | |
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